Comic genius

My wife Betsy is a comic genius. Most people don't know this, because they don't pay attention to her closely enough. I think she's an absolute riot. When I was in Bosnia on the peacekeeping mission years ago, once she wrote me a letter consisting of a single paragraph. It took me twenty minutes, literally, to finish the letter, because she made me laugh so much. If you don't believe me, you can ask SSG Billy Corns, he was there with me, and thought I was a nutcase.

Since Betsy and I have been together for so many years, I know her so well that I can now anticipate in advance what she's likely to think or do or say. This is quite a timesaver. Sometimes, I'll sit with her, and think about saying something. Then I think what she'd say back to me, and how I'd respond, and how she'd respond to my response. Then I start laughing, because in my head she really zinged me. Not only is she funny in reality, she's also funny in theory. Meanwhile, back in the real world, all she sees is me laughing for no apparent reason, which makes her agree with Billy Corns.

I liken these internal conversations to the famous Schroedinger's Cat thought experiment. Until I actually posit a statement to her, Betsy's possible responses are part of a quantum system which remains a linear combination of states, each of which resembles different classical states. Only until I speak out loud and she responds will the superposition of her response collapse into a definite state, measurable by classical methodologies (such as hearing).

In this way, Betsy combines the best of a real wife with the best of an imaginary wife. She's the full package!