Simulated attack!

I'm in the MWR tent trying to do my report on marketing, and this annoying alarm goes off. Evidently it's a simulated attack. Since it's a simulated attack, I thought I'd just sit there and exhibit a simulated response. Not to be. The Filipina who runs the MWR tent fusses and herds us all outside into the blazing sun, which is far more dangerous than a simulated attack. We stood there in the sun for 15 minutes while the simulation ran its course. I thought she would lead us to a bunker, but she didn't. I thought it was asinine, but if there's one thing I've learned from all those airline safety demonstrations, it's that in a crisis, follow the instructions of the pushy middle-aged woman with too much makeup.

After the "all-clear," the Big Voice told us to regroup and gain accountability of all personnel. Hah! That's the biggest joke all week. Only God Himself has any clue how many people are on Camp LSA, and what their names are. CENTCOM operates a bit like the Holocaust, inasmuch as it largely depends on the complicity of its victims to make the system work. I could sit here in Kuwait for weeks before anyone noticed. According to anecdotes, some people have done exactly that.