Taleban photo studio

Of all the odd requests we've received during my tenure, the request to help with an official DA photograph definitely makes the top ten. A young first lieutenant came in to ask if we could help him perform this task, which is impossible for several reasons. First, you can't just take a snapshot, there's a whole regulation behind the DA photo. Second, you need someone with access to DAPMIS, which is the digital repository for official photographs. Third, we think it's a waste of time for several reasons. First, since he's deployed, his commander can write a letter to the board explaining the situation, and they won't count it against him. Second, the selection rate to captain is in the high 90s, and has been for years. He'll need to do more than screw up a photograph in order to avoid promotion. Third, we didn't much care for his tone.

I almost referred him to the Taleban photo studio downtown. Their photos have been shown all over the world. They have a nice choice of banner backgrounds with squiggly designs, and for no extra charge will put others in the photo with you, holding machetes and assault rifles. Local color! Even though they're in a photograph, they'll keep their faces covered with towels. Strange. They don't charge much, all you need to do is read a statement they prepare for you. It's a good deal, look into it.